Okay I'm here again. Feeling a bit more like myself. IT's kind of tough when one person going off their anti-depressants (me) while another is starting (the husband). And to top it off, the wedding is in 52 days. Crap, how did it get here so fast? Many things are already done, just the little stuff to work on.
I think we;re back in a better place, couple-wise. I'm still in a bit of a funk right now, not overly cuddly and mushy. I tend not to be either of those things really though. What's tough is that the husband thrives on these things. We have a nice cycle: I'm down and pull away... he gets worries and seeks comfort by acting like my shadow... I feel smothered and pull away. And so it goes...
I'm just not a mushy, lovey-dovey, romantic person. I never really have been. It's just the way I am. I'm happy and feel lovey when things get done around the house - I know... it's weird.
Okay -- signing off. I'm doing a little bit of babysitting today - extra cash and time for myself.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
custody
Oh my god. I hate this. Soooooo much.
BM now wants the kids on Wednesday too. Fuck that. She's only doing this because she wants more child support because she's broke as fuck and can't pay her rent (sorry for the f-bombs, but I am pissed). So now she will have them on Wednesday and Thursday nights. What a nightmare. They are going to fall behind in school, be with a totally irresponsible parent 40% of the time and WE have to pay her more. What a frickin' joke.
I'm so angry and there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it. NOTHING. I feel hopeless and helpless. I'm angry at the husband for his shitty choices. He's angry with me for bashing him about his past. But seriously, he did some stupid things. Really really stupid. And we pay for them now. We'd have 100% custody of them right now if it weren't for his errors. Right before they got divorced, she physically assaulted him. He didn't report it. IF he had, she would have a record and we'd be able to get custody (or at least be safe from her deciding that she wants an extra day).
I don't know what to do. She's a snake who just wants more money. But guess what? SD12 is getting braces... and now that BM wants 40% custody, she gets to pay for 40% of them. Pretty soon SD10 and SS7 will need them too. She won't be getting child support, she'll have to pay US and her entire plan with backfire. Then summer will come around and we'll need to arrange for summer camps. So much for trying to get money out of us. Try getting a college education or a second job instead. That's what the rest of us do when we need money. She's such a fucking loser.
I am so stuck.
BM now wants the kids on Wednesday too. Fuck that. She's only doing this because she wants more child support because she's broke as fuck and can't pay her rent (sorry for the f-bombs, but I am pissed). So now she will have them on Wednesday and Thursday nights. What a nightmare. They are going to fall behind in school, be with a totally irresponsible parent 40% of the time and WE have to pay her more. What a frickin' joke.
I'm so angry and there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it. NOTHING. I feel hopeless and helpless. I'm angry at the husband for his shitty choices. He's angry with me for bashing him about his past. But seriously, he did some stupid things. Really really stupid. And we pay for them now. We'd have 100% custody of them right now if it weren't for his errors. Right before they got divorced, she physically assaulted him. He didn't report it. IF he had, she would have a record and we'd be able to get custody (or at least be safe from her deciding that she wants an extra day).
I don't know what to do. She's a snake who just wants more money. But guess what? SD12 is getting braces... and now that BM wants 40% custody, she gets to pay for 40% of them. Pretty soon SD10 and SS7 will need them too. She won't be getting child support, she'll have to pay US and her entire plan with backfire. Then summer will come around and we'll need to arrange for summer camps. So much for trying to get money out of us. Try getting a college education or a second job instead. That's what the rest of us do when we need money. She's such a fucking loser.
I am so stuck.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
worth it
Things that make this crazy life so worth it:
L's class is having a read-in today (sleeping bags, pillows and books all day long). The teacher asked for parents to pop in and read to them. I showed up this morning, only to find that L had just left the classroom for speech. His teacher said, "That's such a bummer, he was so excited to have you come in. He told me this morning 'My mom's coming in today! My mom's coming today!' " I was shocked. He's never call me his mom. Ever. We have an amazing bond, but I've never expected any of the kiddos to call me their mom.
Wow. Trying not to get too excited.
I'm going to go back this afternoon and read when he's there. :-)
L's class is having a read-in today (sleeping bags, pillows and books all day long). The teacher asked for parents to pop in and read to them. I showed up this morning, only to find that L had just left the classroom for speech. His teacher said, "That's such a bummer, he was so excited to have you come in. He told me this morning 'My mom's coming in today! My mom's coming today!' " I was shocked. He's never call me his mom. Ever. We have an amazing bond, but I've never expected any of the kiddos to call me their mom.
Wow. Trying not to get too excited.
I'm going to go back this afternoon and read when he's there. :-)
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