better?

So I'm better. I think. Things seem to have settled down a bit at our house. Things with the husband are better and I have made some changes.

Basically, I'm not going to worry about things that have nothing to do with me. Husband needs to get plates, cups etc for SS7's (almost 8!) birthday party -- and waits until the last minute? Not my problem. I'm not going to remind him 1,000 times like before. If he asks for my help and I have time to run errands, then I am more than happy to do so. But if he fails to plan, not my problem... which bring me to my favorite quote:

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

I really need to start taking that to heart. The other thing that I'm not going to do anymore? Beg the kids to do their homework. I'm actually not even going to ask about it. If they want help, they can come to me. But it's husband's just to stay on top of the education of his kids. *sigh* He hates when I call them that. HIS kids. And while I LOVE them to death, sometimes I have to take a step back and realize that it's not my job to save them. I will love them and support them the best that I can, but I don't have to do everything. If someone wants me to review their homework, then I am all over that. But I won't beg and plead to sit down with them to review the math test that they failed (again).

A small part of me feels bad (and even wicked) for taking this step back. These kids have been given the short end of the stick - through not fault of their own. But I'm not going to do things that I don't want to do anymore. I will read to them every night, I will take them to the park, kiss them good-night -- but I will not bend over backwards to do everything for them. I guess that's how I would want to be with my own bio-kids anyways. I want them to have th skills to ask for help when they need it and not rely on my for everything. I won't remind them 1,000 times to take their sports equipment with them - if they forget then I guess they don't get to practice that day.

Stepping back is incredibly healthy for me -- but hard. I hate watching things go to shit. I sometimes feel like I want to grab a megaphone and shout, "Excuse me, but you're about to totally screw this up! Warning! Warning! Take action now to avoid certain failure!"

But it's working. Granted, I've been taking this stance for about a week now, but it's helping. Let's see if I can hang in there.