What I wrote back

So a few weeks ago BM emailed me this long and ranty email. Thanks everyone for your input. A friend helped me craft the following response. BM hasn't responded, which is fine.

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I want to start off by acknowledging the huge risk that you took in writing this email. I, too, would like to move past some of the hurtful things that have occurred between us. In your email, you talked about the effectiveness of using email to communicate and I agree that this is a great way for us to transfer information about the kids, so I hope that we can continue to do that. As another step towards building a good relationship, I plan to make extra effort to be polite and friendly when we interact in person. I think that communicating via email and changing the way we interact in person will go a long way towards building a better relationship between the two of us.

I have found a lot of resources online for step-moms, one of which is a book written by a mom and stepmom pair about how to work as a team for the benefit of the kids. I found it to be helpful and think you might also relate to it. I'd be happy to get a copy of it to you if you're interested. In the meantime, here is a link to their website: http://www.noonesthebitch.com/

It it very clear to me how much you love your children, and I want to share with you that I love them very much too. I hope that with these changes, I can someday be recognized as a valued caregiver for your children. It's been an honor and pleasure to watch them grow up.

-Me