Dear Ex Wife from the Step Family Letter Project
No, I didn't write this - but I feel very much like that sometimes.
Things are good for the moment - which means that I haven't seen BM in a while. She didn't show at any of the kids' soccer games this weekend. Not having to see her makes things easier. Having to remember that she exists hurts my head sometimes. Mostly because I know that she will continue to get credit for how great the kids are, despite not being all that involved. It's just easier to not think about her at all...
But there's a Catch-22 with that type of thinking. She IS around. She IS their mother. And I have to find a way to deal with it. *sigh* Much more challenging that I ever thought.
made for me by SD10
While I play to role of mom 60% of the time, I'm "not their mom." I'm constantly having to correct people when I'm with the kids, as they are sensitive when this happens. When people call me their mom in front of them, I wish I could say: "Actually I'm their step-mom, but I do all the things their mom is supposed to do."
I've been in my step-kids lives since Sept 2008. The parenting part is easy and fun -- the ex-wife part is impossible.
Me (27 yo step mom and new wife)
Husband
SD12 - 12 yo step-daughter
SD10 - 10 yo step-daughter
SS7 - 8 yo step-son
About our life
- D
- United States
- While I play to role of mom 70% of the time, I'm "not their mom." I'm constantly having to correct people when I'm with the kids, as they are sensitive when this happens. When people call me their mom in front of them, I wish I could say: "Actually I'm their step-mom, but I do all the things their mom is supposed to do. And you know the kicker, my husband and I have to pay her!" Me (26 yo step mom and new wife) Husband SD12 - 12 yo step-daughter SD10 - 10 yo step-daughter SS7 - 7 yo step-son
My Step-Mom Blog List
Followers
That's my letter :) I'm glad you found some comfort in feeling the same way as another one of us in the same situation, but I feel bad that you are feeling the same way. People always act like the kids are the hardest part of being a stepmom, but it turns out that the ex-wife is the real source of tension. Hang in there, and keep up your blog!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on starting your own blog. I'm here from Stepchicks. I have a blog that I started about six months ago and it has helped me cope in so many ways. I'm an old hat at the SM gig, but I love reading newer stepmom's experiences, they are all so similar to what I felt years ago. I hope you can stop by. - Georgina
ReplyDeletewww.dadssecondwhatever.blogspot.com
Being a step-mom IS the hardest job in the world. And mostly because of the bio-mom. With 13 years of it under my belt and now grown step-children (age 18, 20, and 22) I thought it would get easier. It has not. I completely understand what you're going through. You're NOT alone!! Hugs!
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